My Experience with Traditional Amazonian Plant Medicine

Last Saturday I participated in a Traditional Amazonian Plant Medicine ceremony (TAPM). The following are my thoughts, feelings, and revolutions before and after the ceremony:

October 13th. 2018

Intentions for the Ceremony

  • I intend to be healed from my physical illness/s
  • I intend to have my DNA be activated
  • I intend to see my loved ones in Spirit
  • I intend to open my 3rd eye even more
  • I intend to travel and see Lightbeings
  • I intend for my mediumistic abilities to grow
  • I intend to learn so that I can share with others

SURRENDER to the process.

SURRENDER to the process.

SURRENDER to the process.

8:30pm

She tasted like chocolate to me. When I asked if that’s how She really tastes I was told NO.  May this be a sweet and fulfilling journey.

Bright ideas, we got bright ideas.

Bright ideas, we got bright ideas.

-SZA

7:15am October 14th, 2018

I waited for an hour and a half for the first dose of Mother to work, meanwhile I just felt really restless, couldn’t stop moving. I asked for another dose. I was tired so I decided to lay down and go to sleep. Approximately 30 minutes later I shot straight up from my sleep and from there the journey began.

I recognized how I felt. I felt as though I had taken an 1/8th of mushrooms so I wasn’t alarmed. I felt like I had to pee. As soon as I got into the bathroom I immediately threw up in the toilet. I wasn’t even nauseous but up it came; the purge began.

One of the ceremony helpers (Earth Angel) came and asked me if I was okay. I said no. I asked if they could walk with me back to the ceremonial space, they did. I didn’t get to urinate so when I came back I was immediately reminded and I asked the Shaman to take me, they did. I felt the split of reality which is normal while on a mushroom trip adn I was okay with that. We walked back to the ceremonial space and that’s when I began to descend in to my dark space.

I felt like I was going back into the space I found myself in the last time I experienced plant medicine. It terrified me because for the first time in my life I contemplated suicide. I became extremely uncomfortable and said out loud, “Why am I doing this again?” That’s where one of the helpers (Soul SiStar) came and when she touched me I knew I was going to be okay. The Earth Angel came and I looked at them and said, “Please help me”. They then placed another arm around me; I truly felt supported. Then I began to loudly purge. During this time the Shaman began singing in an indigenous Amazonian language, that I obviously didn’t understand. I did not want to let go of the Soul SiStar because I knew her, I trusted her, and her energy felt so calming. They (Earth Angel and Soul SiStar) both reminded me that I am a Goddess and that I must stand tall and remember to breath, deep breath. The purging continued. The Shaman then came and sat next to and for some reason I felt…. not quite afraid but apprehensive of their presence. Their energy was very powerful and BIG. They asked for the helpers to leave but I was adamant that Soul SiStar stayed. I needed her, and so she stayed. She continued to rub my back and remind me that “I am a Goddess” and practiced deep breathing with her. I grabbed very tightly to her leg as I could not let go. It was a sense of control, which I didn’t really have, and my only sense of normality.

The Shaman sang their song which was just for me and when they touched me, I felt such an immense and calming power rush over and through me. They were smoking tobacco and reminding me why I was here. Their laughter felt so loving and I began to ascend out of the hell I was in. Then I started to cry. I cried lakes and waterfalls. I was loud and vulnerable. I was freely releasing. The Shaman told me, “I see you as a beacon, this is where you are most grounded”. I knew that was true and I began to cry. They then said, “Thank you for showing up . You are here to do the hard work. The work isn’t easy.” They continued to sing to me and I entered into unity consciousness. I felt true unconditional love, a space where we are ONE as that is the true definition of love.

I wept and was given a message, “This is not yours to release” and I knew I wept for my ancestors and the people of the world and I was okay with this. The Shaman had left me in the hands of the Soul SiStar. I was no longer gripping her knee. We were sitting side by side to one another and she continued to rub my back and reminded me to breathe. She asked me twice if I was ready to lay down, I wasn’t. I remember how clear my sinuses were and how full of gratitude I felt for this entire experience. I repeatedly say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you” quietly. When I was ready to lay down I spoke silently to Babe (my Grandmother), “Grandma where were you?” She responded, “I am here and was with you this entire time. You needed to do this work. I ‘m always with you”. I drifted off to sleep, highly uncomfortable sleeping in a sleeping bag on a cold floor with coughing spells.

As I write I hear birds chirping and the sounds of this waterfall cascading into a beautiful pond in front of me and I feel… lighter, more forgiving of self, and grateful for this experience. It is now my responsible to share what I’ve learned.

Understanding the Darkness

The darkness is different for every individual. My darkness felt more like an overall fear. I was completely lucid of the way I felt and the world outside of myself, I can’t quite explain it. The darkness is comprised of our fears, blockages, past life traumas, and ancestral traumas. The more one purges (expelling the darkness through vomiting, defecating, burping, crying, or moving around, all of these are moving energy). Once we started our purging we are then able to release what we no longer need nor want. Some have said this is call Death of the Ego, but that’s not what I understood my darkness to be. I called this entire experience, Intensely Beautiful.

After Affects of TAPM

It’s a week since the ceremony and I have been experiencing…. thangs. Firstly, I’ve been having dreams with messages and prophecy. My body is now reacting differently to food and substances such as meat, fried foods, and even caffeine. I just can’t tolerate bullshit ass substances anymore. I haven’t ate meat nor craved it since last weekend. I’m still open to more upgrades as I am expected to experience more as time goes on. As part of the ceremonial package we participants receive coaching towards entering a lifestyle of cleaner eating (vegetarian, vegan, and pescatarian) and healing included with light language.

Who can participate in a Traditional Amazonian Plant Medicine Ceremony?

This process is a serious spiritual journey and one must be properly prepared before the ceremony.  This preparation includes a readiness of the soul “to do the work” necessary for ascension and need to practice clean eating, trust me this is a major component! This isn’t for an experience, it’s the means to ascend and grow etherically.

In Love and Light,

Amber Choisella♥

Why Consultation is Important When Communicating with Spirit

Consultation is the topic of the day! To consult with another professional is to talk with someone else who has knowledge that would be beneficial for normally a mutual client, but what if the mutual client is a Spirit? Well then, I recommend you watch this video which will discuss this in detail!!!

When Spirit Defines Home as Louisiana

I’ve been having dreams as of lately (this past Friday 3/2) of my family that made it possible for me to be and it has left an emotional mark on me. My grandparents basically raised me but unlike a lot of grandparents who raised their grandchildren, my parents were also in the picture, so really it was an entire family raising my sister and I. My grandparents though, we the definition of a loving relationship, what a real marriage looks like. In every picture taken my Grandmother is always looking at my Grandfather with such love, no wonder why I love that way that I do. These are my maternal grandparents. If you’ve been following me for a while or from the beginning you would know how much my Grandmother’s presence in my life greatly impacted me. It will be two years in August that she has transitioned back to Spirit and 8 years for my Grandfather, yet when I’m going through a really hard time I feel their presence ever so strongly.

On Friday I woke up crying from a dream about my Grandparents. I woke up in grief. In my dream I was in a fairly large house full of chaos and I wanted to see my Grandfather. I found my Grandmother and asked her where he was and she told me he had “gone home to Louisiana”.

My Grandparents: Mr. Grandpa & Babe

I called him and pleaded with him at this point to come back because I needed him and all he said was that he was home and he couldn’t be where I was anymore. Shortly after that my Grandmother informed that she too would  be going home soon. I tried to process this while I was asleep but I woke up to a wet pillow. I’m currently in a state of transition, trying to figure out what is the best fit for me, what it looks like and what it feels like. It’s difficult to process and I’ve been really struggling with it now and of lately. The rest of the day I was depressed and in mourning because I miss being able to go to my Grandmother for a hug or a smile but whenever I’ve ever really needed her she’s always been available for me and that has never stopped. I’ve thankful to be so intuned to Spirit because I need to know that my Grandmother has never left me, her Spirit is the most important to me; soul mate connection.

Amber Choisella

 

Just Give In 

Last night my sister and I traveled to San Francisco to attend a concert. Normally from Sacramento it’s takes an hour and a 1/2 but since we left at 5:30pm, we were expecting to get there in 2 and 1/2 hours because of rush hour traffic, but we were wrong. An hour later we entered into the city where we met the most of our traffic. I have an exteme anxiety of driving in SF due to the high hills so I prayed for comfort as I exited off of the 101. Next, I asked my guides specifically to help me find close and FREE parking and I found both minutes later. 

Favorite Indie Artist, Hazel English (I took this photo)

Hazel English is a 25 year old Oakland based Australian Indie artist. I found her one day last year while listening to an Indie mix on Spotify. If you’re into the Indie genre check her out, you’ll love her! She’s got a 60’s vibe about her from the clothing she wears you the essence she sends out onto the world. 

My sister and I were originally the first pair in line but after going back to the car and grabbing my sister’s sweater we came back second in line. The two ladies in front of us were San Jose natives who extended warmness and familiarity. As soon as the doors were opened we walked into the venue and Hazel walks in front and a across from where I’m standing in the darkened lit room and I yell, “Hazel” as she turns around. I then embarrassingly ask, “Can I take a picture with you”, which she replies, “Sure but after the show”. I felt like a little kid and I knew my face was red from the embarrassment I felt. Here I am 28 years old, geeking out when I see another (talented) human being just feet from where I was standing.  All in all she put on an amazing show and displayed some of her era sticken moves which I wished I had recorded on my Snapchat!

Spirit is always with us readily available to assist with anything, all we need to do is ask. Although, I asked for small things, Spirit was there so why wouldn’t there be there when I ask for “big” things?  

While you’re pondering that question just go ahead and listen to her, here’s a link from Amazon Music, it’s her new album, Just Give In/ Never Going Home Again. You’re thank you in advance! 

Faux Locs & Mediumship

I needed a change so I decided to do the style of faux dreads/ locs. It took me 8 hrs after an 8 day at work and I LOVE it minus the new experienced heaviness on my head and neck. It’s the look of total freedom without the total commitment to change, at least on the physical level.

image

Mediumship 

I’ve been practicin, I’ve been practicin to let go of my logic and allow Spirit in. It takes time and patience has ever been my virtue but as I’m learning, time is everything and everything has its own time. I was in church yesterday and I had come in late so I sat in the back not wanting to directly disrupt service. I sat down and did a quick mediation to ground myself and to invite my guides in to help with delivering messages. I suddenly started feeling a throbbing on the left side of my head. I suffer from migraines but they are always on my right side so I knew immediately I was picking up energy from somewhere/ someone else I just needed to find out from whom. I focused and allowed myself to let Spirit in. Not too long after this my Reverend asked if I had received anything and it was my time to let Spirit work.

She sat in the front row, wearing all black, with a pixie style haircut, and she wore a turquoise crystal around her neck. I asked her name and then asked if she experienced migraines, she said no, and then I knew…. I asked if she saw auras (a common side effect of migraines) and if she saw Spirit. She readily admitted that she had seen Spirit, all of her life actually but had not ever received training or development on it. Spirit informed me to tell her to begin her spiritual journey so that she too can aid others. It was an amazing experience to say the very least. It’s astonishing to see what can happen when you stand out from your own restrictions and allow Spirit to work!

Hearing the Voice

It’s been a long time since I’ve last heard my name being called out to me. It startles me for sure but it never scares me…. it happened again today. I was on lunch on a short walk due to the heat and I hear a masculine voice call out my name as though his hands were circled around his mouth, “AMMMMBBEERR”. I stopped and turned around thinking it was a friend/co-worker messing with me but when I turned around no one was there. I heard it again and then again for a third time. I knew then that it was Spirit but I don’t know who it was. It was not a voice I’ve ever heard  before, perhaps it’s a new guide, or a guide I’ve already had but have not been acquainted with yet. Some may read this and think I’m short a few screws or that I may be lying, but I’m learning to walk within my own truth. Those who understand will know and others will scrutinize and judge. That’s ok, we all have our moments of truth.. This is my truth…. My soul discovering journey, my development in becoming an intuitive counselor.

Amber Choisella♥

Grieve, Because It’s Non-Abnormal

I won’t apologize for screaming or crying or hiding  and not picking up your calls because I’m grieving.

I don’t care what the world says I should do, I’m human and this is what my shell

needs to do to move forward. My spirit, well it’s at peace knowing that she’s at peace yet these tears keep falling.

I can’t fake shit, I’m authentic so anything I feel I wear it proudly, no, World not cowardly.

And I’ll cry until my eyes are puffy and until my voice is non-existent, yeah yeah I’ll be ok.

Just promise me that when it’s my time to transition onward that there will be no sadness, cry in memories of our love, and no I’ll never judge you for that.