Found A Life Worth Living Without You: A Letter About the Survival of Love

Dear Babe,
Your soul decided to go Home two years ago. I remember the moment your Soul spoke to me and you told me, “I’m tired, I’m tired”. At that very moment I saw you as though I was viewing you in tunnel vision. Your mouth didn’t move. Immediately tears rolled down my face and I knew your time here on this dense plane was temporary. The last sentence you said to me was, “I love you too Amber”. I ran from the room and HE ran after me and held me as my soul wept. The wall hallway tormented me and I felt small, almost non-existent as if life wasn’t worth living anymore. An existence without you was inconceivable. Here at the age of 27 I felt life was no longer prevalent. August 18th I sat next to your bed and read you a Sylvia Browne book about crossing over. I stuttered fighting against fatigue and sorrow. I was suppose to spend the night with you and twin but the hospital didn’t have an extra chair bed so before I left I sat beside you and grabbed your bruised hand, kissed your third eye, and stroked your face.

As I was walking out of the door I said, “I’ll spend the night with you tomorrow night. I love you Babe”, and without delay I heard, “I love you too”. No hesitation I said, “She still here, I just heard her say I love you too”. I left my twin and my greatest love for the last time. 3am my Mom called and simply said, “She’s gone”.

My Babe
This time last year I was inconsolable, but I heard your voice tell me to get up and go to church so church is where I went. It was healing and what I needed. All last week I kept hearing and noticing your name…. Madeline, Maddie. For example, I was speaking to you on my way to work on Wednesday last week which isn’t uncommon. When I got to work I had an urge to look at the painted portrait that hangs on the wall besides my work desk and I noticed the artist’s name was Maddie and it was dated ’16. I’ve been sitting at this desk for 3 months and never noticed this. Over the weekend I was speaking to twin and I told her what I had been noticing and I told her I knew that was your way of communicating with me. She went to see a medium and at the end of the reading and WE came up. She asked if she had a sister, which she said yes. She then went onto say, that YOU were with me during this time and were encouraging me to heighten my confidence with a project that I’m doing. That gave me the validation that you ARE and HAVE BEEN communicating with me. Oh Babe, I miss your smile and your touch but because of your love, I know life again is worth living. I’m okay too, I’m surviving this existence without your physicality. I can do this because I’m your granddaughter.
I’ve never known a love as pure nor a soul as beautiful and wise as yours.
Love your Baby.

L.O.V.E.| Learning to Overcome Variation of Everything|

Last year I did a public speaking event where I spoke about the meaning behind LOVE. Life can be difficult and be the most amazing experience all in one; yet, at times it can make you stop and ask why. Why do certain things happen to us or to people we love?  Why is there so much hate in the world? Why are we killing one another for the difference of our skin complexion, our beliefs, and our differences? It doesn’t make any sense, that much is true. For all the horrendous things that happen within humanity, have you ever stopped to think about tragic events are meant to be create catalyst effects? What if all the events that happen in the world are meant to create something new, something greater than ourselves, allowing us to learn how to overcome variation of everything. Love continuously even in the face of evil because love permeates all things.

In memory of the lives that were taken unexpectedly to violence in recent days and for all the lives that have been taken unexpectedly:

Nia Wilson

Lesandro Guzman-Feliz

Luz Gonzales

Jazmyne Jeter

 

 

Amber Choisella

Does Your Love Blossom?

When looking within for a business name and change in direction I felt that I wanted my business to reflect support and trust. For a few days I wrestled back and forth with the idea of blossoming into action and that’s when Blossom and Rise came to fruition. 

When I think about love I immediately go back to the love we give ourselves. We are born into this life with love regardless of the situation we are born into because our souls were created in love, Universal love. With this said over the duration of life love sometimes gets misconstrued and we lose sight of true love. Recognizing love within ourselves first is where true love blossoms and when love blossoms we are able to rise.

I challenge you to blossom today so that tomorrow you may rise! 

I love you. I appreciate you. I honor you.

Amber Choisella 

The Grieving Medium

While listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations podcast episode (Podcast Addict) featuring an interview with the late and great Maya Angelou, I cried inside missing the voice of my beloved Grandmother. As Maya spoke I was reminded of truest fact that hold true within the entire Universe that love does not die, instead it saves and it stays with us, within and completing us.

Grief is experienced even from a medium, one who communicates with the dead, although dead of the body is not one’s true ending it is still as emotion even I constantly work through. In the words of Maya Angelou:

“I know for sure that love saves me”

Even though my Grandmother, my greatest love, is no longer in this 3D existence, her love for me will always save me and never abandon me. Love saves and aides all.

Amber Choisella

Sending Love and Light

I’ve been struggling with spreading love and light in my current work environment because of the negativity that resides within; however I am sending YOU, yes YOU at this very moment love and light. I send this out to all who are able to receive it. If no one has said this to you yet, I love you! Now carry on and continue living to the highest potential despite how your day has been. 

Painting of the Lotus

New Beginnings and Service to Others

2016 has been a rough year for everyone and now it’s nearing its end…. FINALLY. We could choose to indulge in our losses or accept them as a necessity for us to move forward. I experienced death 3x this year and as I accept them I’ll never be the same without them, Your Ashes Feel Like Home. and Message from Grandma.  With that said, I’ve moved on the best that I can which also included being laid off from my job at the end of the month, YET, had I not been laid off, I would not have gained the position I have now which is in my career field. Things have to fall a part before greater things can come together. 

Anxiety has been another factor that I’ve had to deal with this year, something I didn’t recognize I have been dealing with until this year. As a child who experienced spiritual phenomenon I never understand the feelings I would experience underneath everything else I was seeing, hearing, and sensing but anxiety has been a companion of mine for many many years. Counseling helped when my Grandma transitioned onward and it was then that I realized ANXIETY as a partner I’ve never recognized.

I have to thank the love for my life for supporting and uplifting me throughout every loss and crisis I’ve experienced. He has been my guiding light, the Love of my Light, my Atheist Love, to read more about our Spiritualist & Atheist relationship please read The Ideal Relationship Between an Atheist & Spiritualist. Opposites do attract and everything is meant to be for reasoning of love and learning. The picture below is what I took while riding as a passenger to Mendocino, CA. It’s where My Love takes me to unwind and relax when life gets to be too much. It’s the town that sits on a cliff and love is felt everywhere.

Lastly, this year I’ve placed my fears aside and began servicing others spiritually through my intuitive readings. When I service others I heal myself. If you are in the Sacramento, California area and would like to schedule a face to face session with me please reach out to me via my email, I would LOVE to hear from you!

 

 

 

HWY 1 en route to Mendocino, CA

 

The Ideal Relationship Between an Atheist & Spiritualist

Is this a joke? It could possibly be but for the most part it isn’t. This is the perfect definition of opposites attract right? Yeah, but do you wanna know the secret that allows us (him and I) to maintain a loving relationship without offending one another? If this is interesting to you please continue reading to find the top 3 ideals to maintaining an opposites attract “healthy relationship” that I have learned to know.

Respect.

Respect creates boundaries and that’s salient to maintaining a relationship. Loving each other enough to support each other despite perspectives of our outside world is almost EVERYTHING. Another paramount point to mention is…. wait for it, just wait for it…

Non-Conversion. 

We cannot try to “fix” one another in the way we think we both should perceive the world. That’s not LOVE that’s domination and control. Love is about accepting others for who and what they are and stand for, which ties into the final ideal….

Love.

Love is without saying you’re sorry, isn’t that the saying? Well, in parts it’s true. Love isn’t about right or wrong it’s about support, encouragement, and growth… really.

The article entitled, Atheists can be spiritual too explains how the two can be joined in a different but similar view to this post. All in all, these three ideals are needed not just for a relationship between an atheist and a spiritualist but all relationships.

 

mutual-respect

Amber Choisella♥

Love Advice From Babe

Babe, how did you know Grandpa was “The One” I asked her.

She said, I knew he was the one by the way that he provided for me. He took care of me, that’s how I knew.

That’s how I knew he was the one.

I never need to ask he always knows what to do and what I need almost telepathically, no not materialistically and that’s the difference between a partner and a boyfriend… need more of an explanation, no problem I’ll be happy to explain.

Partnerships are an equal exchange of many sorts, yet most importantly they’re your biggest support. Uplifting you along the way, no cracks within the sidewalks, always available to wipe your tears, there with you to fight your fears, and most importantly loves you unconditionally, faithfully, and honestly. Relationships are work but more of a growth than an upkeep. He’s not perfect nor do I need him to be. At most he’s the best for me.

Thanks Babe, now I understand. I love that you had a chance to meet and spend sometime with him and I. Because of you, I know the meaning of love both self and towards loving others.

I miss you. I love you.

Babe.jpg
Babe, my Queen.

Greater than Grief; Spirit Communication

Two weeks before my grandmother passed I asked if she could come back to me in Spirit so I could see and make sure that she would be okay, even though I knew she would be, but the request definitely was for my own ease of mind. She said she didn’t know if she could but if she could she would come back to me. 

I had no idea that she would leave her body so soon after we had that conversation. Heartbreaking, yet heartbroken is probably the reason why she hasn’t been able to come through.

Through synchronicity today I was told by two people and while listening to one of my podcasts, “Grief may be the reason why Spirits aren’t able to communicate, it creates a blockage. Love is the only way that Spirit can come through. Instead of grieving I need to continue the love that I have for her.

When I was 21 years young I had a conversation with my grandmother that created an even closer bond between her and I. She told me that one day she had me and twin in a stroller and had taken us to the grocery store. A woman came up to her and asked her if she knew which one of us was the spiritual one. She said she didn’t know and the woman pointed to me and said that I was the spiritual one. From then on out Babe never doubted what I told her and she was my number one confidant when it came to discussing my spiritual communication and experiences. She even came to my Spiritualist church to watch my first talk on the podium. These are the  things I will always remember, these are the moments that’s gotta be greater than grief. 

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Looking down the cliff in Mendocino.