It all appeared like he after he never could match me completely. It’s either he was too insecure, not mature enough, or too into himself to see who I really am. After the last experience I swore I would change and not repeat the same lessons… hmmm, mistakes?
Mistakes are gifts not so much in disguise. Without mistakes, what are you actually learning from other from being instructed?
I gave up on falling in love, it caused too many deaths. I gave up on finding an equal, but in doing so I released all my expectations, so I expected nothing in return.
Time was all I needed. Time to grow, time to learn, time to ultimately overcome all the darkness I allowed in. Responsibility, I owe that. Defiance, I owe that; defiant to never again repeat certain lessons.
Only then I was able to attract what I would’ve never been able to see before I closed many dark doors… if it matters at all, every dark corner of deaths I’ve been reborn from, became the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned from. Thank you all first degree murders for killing a part of me so that the lotus within could ascend.