My Experience with Traditional Amazonian Plant Medicine

Last Saturday I participated in a Traditional Amazonian Plant Medicine ceremony (TAPM). The following are my thoughts, feelings, and revolutions before and after the ceremony:

October 13th. 2018

Intentions for the Ceremony

• I intend to be healed from my physical illness/s
• I intend to have my DNA be activated
• I intend to see my loved ones in Spirit
• I intend to open my 3rd eye even more
• I intend to travel and see Lightbeings
• I intend for my mediumistic abilities to grow
• I intend to learn so that I can share with others

SURRENDER to the process.

SURRENDER to the process.

SURRENDER to the process.

8:30pm

She tasted like chocolate to me. When I asked if that’s how She really tastes I was told NO.  May this be a sweet and fulfilling journey.

Bright ideas, we got bright ideas.

Bright ideas, we got bright ideas.

-SZA

7:15am October 14th, 2018

I waited for an hour and a half for the first dose of Mother to work, meanwhile I just felt really restless, couldn’t stop moving. I asked for another dose. I was tired so I decided to lay down and go to sleep. Approximately 30 minutes later I shot straight up from my sleep and from there the journey began.

I recognized how I felt. I felt as though I had taken an 1/8th of mushrooms so I wasn’t alarmed. I felt like I had to pee. As soon as I got into the bathroom I immediately threw up in the toilet. I wasn’t even nauseous but up it came; the purge began.

One of the ceremony helpers (Earth Angel) came and asked me if I was okay. I said no. I asked if they could walk with me back to the ceremonial space, they did. I didn’t get to urinate so when I came back I was immediately reminded and I asked the Shaman to take me, they did. I felt the split of reality which is normal while on a mushroom trip adn I was okay with that. We walked back to the ceremonial space and that’s when I began to descend in to my dark space.

I felt like I was going back into the space I found myself in the last time I experienced plant medicine. It terrified me because for the first time in my life I contemplated suicide. I became extremely uncomfortable and said out loud, “Why am I doing this again?” That’s where one of the helpers (Soul SiStar) came and when she touched me I knew I was going to be okay. The Earth Angel came and I looked at them and said, “Please help me”. They then placed another arm around me; I truly felt supported. Then I began to loudly purge. During this time the Shaman began singing in an indigenous Amazonian language, that I obviously didn’t understand. I did not want to let go of the Soul SiStar because I knew her, I trusted her, and her energy felt so calming. They (Earth Angel and Soul SiStar) both reminded me that I am a Goddess and that I must stand tall and remember to breath, deep breath. The purging continued. The Shaman then came and sat next to and for some reason I felt…. not quite afraid but apprehensive of their presence. Their energy was very powerful and BIG. They asked for the helpers to leave but I was adamant that Soul SiStar stayed. I needed her, and so she stayed. She continued to rub my back and remind me that “I am a Goddess” and practiced deep breathing with her. I grabbed very tightly to her leg as I could not let go. It was a sense of control, which I didn’t really have, and my only sense of normality.

The Shaman sang their song which was just for me and when they touched me, I felt such an immense and calming power rush over and through me. They were smoking tobacco and reminding me why I was here. Their laughter felt so loving and I began to ascend out of the hell I was in. Then I started to cry. I cried lakes and waterfalls. I was loud and vulnerable. I was freely releasing. The Shaman told me, “I see you as a beacon, this is where you are most grounded”. I knew that was true and I began to cry. They then said, “Thank you for showing up . You are here to do the hard work. The work isn’t easy.” They continued to sing to me and I entered into unity consciousness. I felt true unconditional love, a space where we are ONE as that is the true definition of love.

I wept and was given a message, “This is not yours to release” and I knew I wept for my ancestors and the people of the world and I was okay with this. The Shaman had left me in the hands of the Soul SiStar. I was no longer gripping her knee. We were sitting side by side to one another and she continued to rub my back and reminded me to breathe. She asked me twice if I was ready to lay down, I wasn’t. I remember how clear my sinuses were and how full of gratitude I felt for this entire experience. I repeatedly say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you” quietly. When I was ready to lay down I spoke silently to Babe (my Grandmother), “Grandma where were you?” She responded, “I am here and was with you this entire time. You needed to do this work. I ‘m always with you”. I drifted off to sleep, highly uncomfortable sleeping in a sleeping bag on a cold floor with coughing spells.

As I write I hear birds chirping and the sounds of this waterfall cascading into a beautiful pond in front of me and I feel… lighter, more forgiving of self, and grateful for this experience. It is now my responsible to share what I’ve learned.

Understanding the Darkness

The darkness is different for every individual. My darkness felt more like an overall fear. I was completely lucid of the way I felt and the world outside of myself, I can’t quite explain it. The darkness is comprised of our fears, blockages, past life traumas, and ancestral traumas. The more one purges (expelling the darkness through vomiting, defecating, burping, crying, or moving around, all of these are moving energy). Once we started our purging we are then able to release what we no longer need nor want. Some have said this is call Death of the Ego, but that’s not what I understood my darkness to be. I called this entire experience, Intensely Beautiful.

After Affects of TAPM

It’s a week since the ceremony and I have been experiencing…. thangs. Firstly, I’ve been having dreams with messages and prophecy. My body is now reacting differently to food and substances such as meat, fried foods, and even caffeine. I just can’t tolerate bullshit ass substances anymore. I haven’t ate meat nor craved it since last weekend. I’m still open to more upgrades as I am expected to experience more as time goes on. As part of the ceremonial package we participants receive coaching towards entering a lifestyle of cleaner eating (vegetarian, vegan, and pescatarian) and healing included with light language.

Who can participate in a Traditional Amazonian Plant Medicine Ceremony?

This process is a serious spiritual journey and one must be properly prepared before the ceremony.  This preparation includes a readiness of the soul “to do the work” necessary for ascension and need to practice clean eating, trust me this is a major component! This isn’t for an experience, it’s the means to ascend and grow etherically.

In Love and Light,

Amber Choisella♥