Category: Journeying Through This So Called Life

Acceptance could be such a kick in the ass sometimes….

Acceptance my friends can be the hardest thing to achieve.

I mean look at it this way, things we can’t control, how easy it that to accept? Horrible things that happen to us and the world around us and we’re just suppose to accept it? Yep, it’s the first step to growing and moving forward with your life.

I’m not gonna lie, acceptance for me is challenging especially when I’m struggling with something specifically. Right now it’s difficult for me to accept the fact that I agreed to move and now live in an area where it snows, temperatures drop below freezing, and sometimes the power goes out. Acclimating to this environment is HARD some moments throughout the day are easier than others just like my experience today. This morning my truck completely stopped running while I was on the freeway. Normally this would have skyrocketed my anxiety but I came to accept the situation immediately and stayed calm. I was astonished by this odd behavior that but I rode with it. I waited for an hour for a tow truck to pick me up after being told it would only be 30 minutes before a truck would come and save me. I didn’t even get irritated when I called for an ETA, AMAZING. CHP (California Highway Patrol) and Caltrans (state agency for transportation) both stopped by to check on how I was doing, what was wrong, and if i needed help. I forgot that my license has expired and I’m waiting for a new one in the mail to arrive…. oops. After I told the officer that I am a counselor and that I was heading down to juvenile hall to meet with the kids there, he forgot about asking me for important stuff like my license, registration, and proof of insurance, but hey I wasn’t there to remind him either.

In that particular moment I was living presently in acceptance and that was definitely a noticeable point of growth.

When we learn to accept and let go of control that’s when we are able to be present in Universal Consciousness.

Acceptance is one in the same with forgiveness, in the same token that we forgive others not for them but for our own healing to take place. Acceptance doesn’t take away from our pain but it does move us into the direction of transformation and healing.

May this be the message you needed to hear.

3 Reasons You Should Indulge in a Backpacking Trip

A few months ago my partner informed me that he wanted to go backpacking on a 30 mile trip in the Santa Cruz area for his birthday this year. Initially I thought he was kidding but he was dead ass serious. We are both unfit individuals so this almost seemed impossible, but we all know that NOTHING is truly impossible. I digress, so he chose to start at the Castle Rock National Park and travel through the Big Basin Redwood National Park which totals to a 30 mile hiking trip, in the wilderness which included bears in the first part of our trip. We spent collectively about a 1k on supplies, mostly because he was EXTRA and got pricey items but honestly, the most expensive items will be your backpack, sleeping bag (down preferred), and tent. All these items will be $100+ depending on the brand name. We got the majority of our items at REI and Amazon, you can get anything and everything on Amazon, FACTS. Continue reading to learn why YOU, yes YOU, should go on a backpacking trip at least once in your life:

  1. Break away from technology:

Out in nature you don’t receive signals for your phone, it’s just you and Mother Gaia. There’s a connection you feel when you commit yourself to the land, it’s unmistakable. If you weren’t aware of this trees actually communicate with one another. As we were walking we heard creaking that sounded as if it were going back and forth throughout the forest as we walked and I couldn’t help but think that I’m a part of this moment, this experience. Spend some time away from your laptop, phone, social media, and connect to the land.

Castle Rock
Castle Rock National Park, Santa Cruz, CA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Being in nature is healing

Before I started my trip I was already sick with another sinus infection; however, once I started hiking all of my symptoms disappeared. No coughing, a bit of a runny nose, and no headache of pressure in my face, but I felt it as soon as I laid down and went to sleep. Below is the photo of our tent that we had just pitched up before the photo was taken. Just laying walking through and listening to their animals in your surrounding area and even the trees. Trees have their own language among one another and we became in tuned with it as we listened to their creaking and windy voices. If you listen carefully you too can hear the voices of the land.

Tent Big Basin.jpg
Tent at Jay Camp in Big Basin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Growth Doesn’t Come from Complacency 

On the way to Castle Rock I prayed and asked my Grandmother’s Spirit to show up on the trail in the guise of a white feather to let me know she too was embarking on this journey with me. I know you’re thinking that I asked for something that is COMMON in the forest but it was a sign that came to me to be a sign of her Spirit, if that makes sense.

White Feather Big Basin
White Feather

Each difficult step that I took it wasn’t long before I saw a white feather directly in front of my feet after my a strenuous incline. Without a doubt I knew my Grandmother was with me giving me the strength to push forward, literally.  The first two days we hiked 9 miles, well a little bit over 10 for the first day because we temporarily got lost because of confusing directions on the trailhead, but the it took us 6 hours to do 9 miles but on the last day we had to walk through 12 miles starting with high inclines and miraculously made it to the beach in 6 hours exactly! It was an extremely rewarding experience even though we weren’t in the best of shape we accomplished our goals! The ending note of this entire post is that if you want change to happen you can’t sit around and wait for it, you gotta make moves towards it! So here’s to adventure, growth, and healing in nature!

 

Do not copy photos without author’s permission.

Found A Life Worth Living Without You: A Letter About the Survival of Love

Dear Babe,
Your soul decided to go Home two years ago. I remember the moment your Soul spoke to me and you told me, “I’m tired, I’m tired”. At that very moment I saw you as though I was viewing you in tunnel vision. Your mouth didn’t move. Immediately tears rolled down my face and I knew your time here on this dense plane was temporary. The last sentence you said to me was, “I love you too Amber”. I ran from the room and HE ran after me and held me as my soul wept. The wall hallway tormented me and I felt small, almost non-existent as if life wasn’t worth living anymore. An existence without you was inconceivable. Here at the age of 27 I felt life was no longer prevalent. August 18th I sat next to your bed and read you a Sylvia Browne book about crossing over. I stuttered fighting against fatigue and sorrow. I was suppose to spend the night with you and twin but the hospital didn’t have an extra chair bed so before I left I sat beside you and grabbed your bruised hand, kissed your third eye, and stroked your face.

As I was walking out of the door I said, “I’ll spend the night with you tomorrow night. I love you Babe”, and without delay I heard, “I love you too”. No hesitation I said, “She still here, I just heard her say I love you too”. I left my twin and my greatest love for the last time. 3am my Mom called and simply said, “She’s gone”.

My Babe
This time last year I was inconsolable, but I heard your voice tell me to get up and go to church so church is where I went. It was healing and what I needed. All last week I kept hearing and noticing your name…. Madeline, Maddie. For example, I was speaking to you on my way to work on Wednesday last week which isn’t uncommon. When I got to work I had an urge to look at the painted portrait that hangs on the wall besides my work desk and I noticed the artist’s name was Maddie and it was dated ’16. I’ve been sitting at this desk for 3 months and never noticed this. Over the weekend I was speaking to twin and I told her what I had been noticing and I told her I knew that was your way of communicating with me. She went to see a medium and at the end of the reading and WE came up. She asked if she had a sister, which she said yes. She then went onto say, that YOU were with me during this time and were encouraging me to heighten my confidence with a project that I’m doing. That gave me the validation that you ARE and HAVE BEEN communicating with me. Oh Babe, I miss your smile and your touch but because of your love, I know life again is worth living. I’m okay too, I’m surviving this existence without your physicality. I can do this because I’m your granddaughter.
I’ve never known a love as pure nor a soul as beautiful and wise as yours.
Love your Baby.

L.O.V.E.| Learning to Overcome Variation of Everything|

Last year I did a public speaking event where I spoke about the meaning behind LOVE. Life can be difficult and be the most amazing experience all in one; yet, at times it can make you stop and ask why. Why do certain things happen to us or to people we love?  Why is there so much hate in the world? Why are we killing one another for the difference of our skin complexion, our beliefs, and our differences? It doesn’t make any sense, that much is true. For all the horrendous things that happen within humanity, have you ever stopped to think about tragic events are meant to be create catalyst effects? What if all the events that happen in the world are meant to create something new, something greater than ourselves, allowing us to learn how to overcome variation of everything. Love continuously even in the face of evil because love permeates all things.

In memory of the lives that were taken unexpectedly to violence in recent days and for all the lives that have been taken unexpectedly:

Nia Wilson

Lesandro Guzman-Feliz

Luz Gonzales

Jazmyne Jeter

 

 

Amber Choisella

Does Your Love Blossom?

When looking within for a business name and change in direction I felt that I wanted my business to reflect support and trust. For a few days I wrestled back and forth with the idea of blossoming into action and that’s when Blossom and Rise came to fruition. 

When I think about love I immediately go back to the love we give ourselves. We are born into this life with love regardless of the situation we are born into because our souls were created in love, Universal love. With this said over the duration of life love sometimes gets misconstrued and we lose sight of true love. Recognizing love within ourselves first is where true love blossoms and when love blossoms we are able to rise.

I challenge you to blossom today so that tomorrow you may rise! 

I love you. I appreciate you. I honor you.

Amber Choisella 

Road to Recovery: Finding A Cure for Chronic Sinusitis Part I

If you’ve ever had a sinus infection think about having it longer than the expected time even after taking steroids and antibiotics… that has been my life for almost a year now. First I had bronchitis back in September 2017 and that took a month to clear up, I thought I was safe. Nope. A week after my birthday symptoms came back but this time it was a sinus infection, one that never left.

I’m on antibiotics and the steroid, Prednisone. The steroid works WONDERS because it clears and expells all the lodged mucus membranes lining the inside of my sinus cavity but it’s only a temporary solution unfortunately. My Allergist informed me that I need a CT scan to look at my sinuses and more than likely I’ll need surgery to remove the remaining infecting. The only issue with this, well there’s a few, starting with the fact that I’ll need to pay for the procedure and I already don’t have good insurance and two the surgery doesn’t guarantee that the infection won’t return. So I’m looking outside of the Western world concepts of medicine and going more holistic.

I contacted a Herbalist who is a MD in my local area. She immediately responded to my outreaching email which was GREAT! Dr.Deb sent me the following information for a Herbal Decongestant:

Herbal descriptions:
Nettles: Is one of the most widely applicable plants we have. They strengthen and support the whole body. They are a specific in cases of any type of skin disorder including eczema, dry skin and acne. Nettle rejuvenates kidney and adrenal functions by acting as a natural mild diuretic to remove toxins in the kidney and adrenals. Nettle is used is any type of allergic sinusitis, its constituents are similar to those of an antihistamine. The plant is adaptogenic which means that it will not only address allergy symptoms but will also enable the body to acquire a natural antihistamine and help build up immunity in treating the allergic cause.

Fenugreek: Fenugreek is a digestive aid. Reducing the sugar level of the blood, it is used in diabetes in conjunction with insulin. It also lowers blood pressure. Fenugreek relieves congestion, reduces inflammation and fights infection. Fenugreek contains natural expectorant properties ideal for treating sinus and lung congestion, and loosens & removes excess mucus and phlegm. Fenugreek is also an excellent source of selenium, an anti-radiant which helps the body utilize oxygen. Fenugreek is a natural source of iron, silicon, sodium and thiamine. Fenugreek contains mucilage’s which are known for soothing and relaxing inflamed tissues. Fenugreek stimulates the production of mucosal fluids helping remove allergens and toxins from the respiratory tract. Acting as an expectorant, Fenugreek alleviates coughing, stimulates perspiration to reduce fevers, and is beneficial for treating allergies, bronchitis and congestion.

Mullein: A high content of mucilage and saponins renders this herb ideal for the treatment of respiratory ailments, from coughs and colds to emphysema, asthma and whooping cough. In addition to the soothing effect imparted by the mucilage, Mullein possesses good antibiotic properties. During the Civil War, the Confederates relied on Mullein for treatment of respiratory problems whenever their medical supplies ran out. Several different and unrelated Indian tribes used Mullein for similar purposes.

Cayenne: In colds and allergies, Cayenne relaxes throat, cold conditions of the stomach, dyspepsia, spasms, palpitation, particularly in the acute stages. The thermogenic properties of this herb allows for easy absorption of this remedy to act quickly.

Peppermint: Peppermint is sometimes regarded as ‘the world’s oldest medicine’, with archaeological evidence placing its use at least as far back as ten thousand years ago. The natural oils in peppermint open up breathing passages by dilating the bronchioles. Peppermint flowers are large nectar producers and honey bees as well as other nectar harvesting organisms forage them heavily, for this reason taking peppermint also enhances the body’s ability to build immunity to local pollens.

I made an appointment to meet with her tomorrow. I’m excited for this naturopathic journey and I will be sharing it with you along the way. If you’ve had experience with this form of treatment please comment away!

Namaste,

Amber Choisella

Conquering Anxiety

Lately life has been ROUGH. That’s all caps and bold because there’s no other way I can quite describe it. I am in my final 5 weeks down to completing my Master’s program in addition to moving an hour away from my current job and internship. Every day I am at my internship site for a few hours then I work an 8 hour shift, and drive an hour home. I get home at 12am -ish and then go to sleep for a few hours, just to get up and do it all again. Oh and just not forget the fact that I just recovered from a chronic sinus infection that 3 rounds of antibiotics could not kill. I’ve spend 3 months of coughing incessantly with no to no sleep until 2 weeks again when I finally saw an Allergist and she prescribed me a steroid and antibiotics, which cleared me up QUICK. To say that I have been struggling these last 3 weeks is an understatement. I have spend many days and nights crying to myself, my therapist, my partner, and really anyone who pretends to want to listen. Honestly, I wish I had the affordability to quit work and focus entirely on graduating but that’s just not the reality I live in.

Whenever I struggle in life I tend to block the world from seeing this side of me. It’s like I have to maintain this certain image of myself to the world. I always have to be positive and hopeful; the carrier of light for others, but again, this is not the reality in which I live in. Shit is real, no one can always be positive and uplifting all the time and there’s no fucking shame in that. I  STRUGGLE and I lost my HAPPINESS in the mist of trying to do everything I’m suppose to be doing.  I lost sight of what happiness means for me. Spirituality and nature makes me happy but honestly I’ve been too exhausted to do anything close to these two things.  Does this make me weak or less than the image you’ve created for me?

Learning to stay fully in the present is hard within chaos, but it’s doable. 5 weeks isn’t too far away and when I choose to stay in this moment I alleviate the thrills of anxiety, discouragement, and a place of swallowed darkness. I’m not always the uplifting spiritual teacher/ mentor but I’ll always be the realest spiritual teacher/mentor because at the end of each day I am a Spirit living a human existence. Forgive me for I shall not lie or pretend to be someone I’m not; I’m just Amber Choisella.