Everything isn’t what it seems and darkness is never dark forever. Yet I’m not in a dark place, more so in a gray space where I’m overwhelmed, in turmoil, and being attacked, or so it seems. ANXIETY, is a bitch, mind the word choice. I found a connection with it and my spiritual growth that I’ve been impressed to share. If interested please continue reading….

I always had this mental image of what ANXIETY actually looked. Hyperventilation is what comes to mind and it’s always followed with a panic attack, right? I never realized that all this time I’ve been struggling with this and I didn’t realize it until recently. Mental health counseling was the field I decided to do my Master’s program within due to my innate passion  for the mental health community. I’ve been learning so much about my own struggles as I continue forward in my education, so much that I have notice an intertwining with my spirituality.

Change is the culprit to my grayness, and it’s never long lasting. Change is a positive because it just means there’s something around the corner, something more to discover about self. I have a hard time dealing with change to be honest, it’s HARD. Grayness filters over and it’s hard to see the outside so I resort back into my inside, similar to what depressed people do, withdraw themselves from society. I become lost within my own fears and it’s debilitating. BUT, it’s never for too long before amazing things start to happen…

Spiritually speaking, everything happens for a reason and there is no cause without effect, metaphysically speaking. So if I believe this is true, then I should expect wonderful, brilliant things to happen but I don’t. The DSM-V  states the following symptoms of an anxiety disorder:

  1. Excessive anxiety and worry (apprehensive expectation), occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance).
  2. The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.
  3. The anxiety and worry are associated with three (or more) of the following six symptoms (with at least some symptoms having been present for more days than not for the past 6 months):

    Note: Only one item is required in children.

    1. Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge.
    2. Being easily fatigued.
    3. Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank.
    4. Irritability.
    5. Muscle tension.
    6. Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep).
  4. The anxiety, worry, or physical symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

I find myself within the A category only when change has occurred. I have not visited a professional to be properly diagnosed, but I know myself for 27 years, and I also know how to correct it. Simply by living in the moment.

Being present is challenging with so much in the world to stimulants us and distract us from the moment. Nature, this setting always brings me back to calmness and balance. It’s ultimately where my spirit is available to roam free. Finding what speaks to your inner being is the best form of treatment and this varies in form. If you have been clinically diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder than please do not divert from your own treatment plan, but I highly suggest you, if you haven’t already, implement a spiritual concept to interject in your everyday life and watch how your life will improve. I suggest this for all mental disorders actually! One day I hope to join both counseling concepts and theories with spiritual concepts and theories for overall wellness.

My cover picture was “accidentally” taken in my jacket pocket on a day out in nature… this picture brings me hope and purpose, most importantly it affirms that nothing is by accident. I will battle with my anxiety for probably the rest of my life and I can accept this. This does not define the woman or spirit that I am. I can only improve, learn, and share with others in hopes that they or you too can resonate with my story. If you would like to share your experiences please do!

 

Amber Choisella

 

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